copy /B image.gif+sound.mp3 newfile.gif

VOILA! Drop it into winamp and enjoy the sound, drop it into an image viewer and you can still see the image.

Great for forum avatars, and oh so nerdy! :)

By the way, I just tried with a wav file and it didn't work. You can also embed zip files in gifs apparently, but I haven't tried it.

Really, doesn't anyone think about what commercials like this actually look like?

I'm still laughing wondering why they got the black kid to rub his nipples.

OUT NOW at BEATPORT

I've been running this all day and it's still funny. Love it!

Not good I thought. So I left it for a day... with no change. So I made a trip to the doctor to get the ear-warm-water-cleaning thingy that they do.

The Doctor was with some Indian guy who didn't speak english very well. He starts doing the ear squirt thing in my left ear, then all of a sudden he says "Oh my god look at this!". I look and it's this siiick pea sized chunk of wax obviously from smashing the earplug in my ear. Then the conversation went a bit like this:

Tim: "Thats pretty gross"
Doc: "What do you think that is!?"
Tim: "Beats me"
Doc: "MEAT?!?! What are you doing putting meat in your ear?!"
Tim: "No, no, i said beats, not meats"
Doc: "How would MEAT get in your ear!?"
Tim: "No, its not meat"
Doc: "Did one of your friends put meat in your ear??!"
Tim: "No, it is NOT meat in my ear, I have never put meat in my ear"
Doc: "Well, you should never put meat in your ear in the first place"
Tim: "Thanks for that."

Ahh good times!

I was constantly getting Access denied errors, but I was part of the Administrators group and the debuggers group, and every other group I thought I might need!

I finally found this post by some guy named Freak which solved the problem. I've blatently plagorized and snipped his post below:

"I finally got remote debugging to work with XP SP2 by granting "Remote Access" to the ANONYMOUS LOGON account in dcomcnfg.exe on the client computer. Specifically, in dcomcnfg.exe -> Component Services -> Computers -> My Computer -> Properties
-> COM Security -> Access Permissions -> Edit Limits.

Now, the documentation does mention setting stuff in Edit Limits, but it says you have to add your account in there, and only if you're not an administrator. That doesn't even make sense; out of the box EVERYONE is granted both local and remote permissions in Edit Limits. Granting remote access to ANONYMOUS LOGON is what you have to do."

As soon as I granted Anonymous Logon remote access, VOILA! Now I can get back to work :)

You can either tune in on the radio, or stream it from www.kissfm.com.au ... if you check it out, send me an email!

It seems if you press Octave up and octave down simultaniously, my M-Audio O2 will transpose up or down by a semitone! Thus screwing up my entire song. It sure sounds unique now. I'll be posting it up in a few days.

2. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

4. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

5. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck,t o remind the crew once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

6. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

7. There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris.

8. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

9. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

10. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

11. Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to Fucking."

12. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

13. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

14. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.

15. In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later was the cause of his Parkinson's disease.

16. Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.

17. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.

18. Chuck Norris can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection.

19. Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

20. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

21. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

22. Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. Everybody Died.

23. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

24. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

25. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

26. When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

27. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

28. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

29. Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

30. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

31. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

"So I did this: I took 4 short 16/44 mono tracks, imported them in PT. Track 1 at -11 db, track 2 at -17, track 3 at -23, track 4 at -27.

I bounced them in PT. I phase-inverted that bounce.

I set up an identical mix in SX2. I imported the inverted PTbounce an added it to the SX2 mix.

Result: silence, the inverted PTmix totally zero'd the SXmix.

PT summing and SX summing is identical.

So I took the PTmix to SAWstudio, same story there.. Identical 4 tracks, identical volumesettings, with the inverted PTbounce in the mix I again had the purest silence I ever heard.

Funny thing is that the coder of SAW claims that the 'superior sound' of his coding is because of his integer summing engine, well du'h, it does exactly the same math as ProTools and Cubase (Nuendo) since the result of the different DAW's zero eachother.

So I thought "maybe it's not just the mixing, it's the way the different programs handle the plugins".

I added a Waves C1 with preset #2 to the tracks (and learned in the meantime that PT doesn't correctly handle plugin delay compensation, when I inserted a C4 and put it on bypass the mix didn't zero anymore) and repeated everything: again, total esoteric meditative silence.

I started this because I was interested in the claim of the SAWfolks that their DAW sounded so much better then all the other. Well, with mixing it didn't, with pluginhandling it didn't, so what's left of this claim is the quality of the onboard EQ.

So I took the plugin version of the internal SAWeq from JMLlabs and put it in Cubase. Did the same phase inverting trick, imported the result in SAW and I could zero the mix again by setting SAW's onboard EQ at the same settings I did with the JMLplugin.

Maybe SAW is very good coded, maybe the eq sounds pretty good, but its claim of beeing sonically superior is BS.

Just as BS it is to claim Nuendo as a better sounding tool than PT and viceversa. "

Put that in your pipe and smoke it oh ye who brag about you DAW's summing superiority!

I feel much better now.

This is some snippets of how I had a hilarious time with some complete amateur scammer from Nigeria. Some of the stuff he pulled was great! The best thing is that before he wrote his second email, I had already sold and shipped the laptop to a legit buyer! :)

All bolding/italics is by me for emphasis.

His first email starts off like this:

--------------------------

Hello seller,
I am glad that you notified me about the item i won.I want you to know
that i am buying it for my fiance in USA i want to use it as a supriseing
gift to him and i will include his address so that u can calculate the
shipping cost from it. pls i like this item and i know he will love it
too. i will like this item to be ship to him direct with express postal
Royal Mail International Registerd. so that he can receive it on time. as for the payment i m paying u with western union bidpay money order bcos it is very safe for me. i dont pay with paypal bcos i ve been frauded with it by a seller.please get back to me with the shipping cost and also your
full name and address for the payment i want to make with western union
money order bidpay auction payment.If you are interested in the means of
payment. I will await your fast response to this email. Thank you and God
Bless you
Best regards,

NAME................RANDY..HERRON
ADDRESS.........409 WEST PINE
CITY.................WARREN
STATE.............ARKANSAS
ZIPCOD............71671 -2615
COUNTRY.........USA
--------------------------

Oh? You are surprising your gay lover Randy Herron with a laptop? That’s so nice, I’m glad that love is still alive and well! I love the bits of Jesus speak he throws in there to make it more ‘nice’.

So I write back:
--------------------------
Did you want me to ship the carrying case as well with this? It will increase the package size and weight, and will be more expensive. Shipping will be about $130 AUD to the States.

Tim
--------------------------

Now by this time, I really just wanted to see how stupid this Nigerian guy really was. Here comes my favorite part (note the grammar and spelling errors, they make it even funnier):
------------------------------

Dear Timothy Allan,
We are pleased to inform you that your Money Order has been approved and ready to be despatched. We need to let you know that We will need the tracking number of this item in question #6797721154 confirm that the item has been shipped to the buyer just to cut short the atrocities being perpetuated by some fraudulent sellers and buyers alike.
As long as you did not provide us with the tracking number of this item #6797721154 your Money Order will be delayed until We receive the tracking number confirming that this item has been sent to the buyer because your own Money Order is quite safe here with us and as such,the interest of the buyer as well must be protected.
In the waiting,We will like to let you know that as soon as the tracking number is sent to us,your Money OrderSM will be despatched immediately and mind you,under no circumstances should you send the tracking number of this item to the buyer unless you receive your Money Order.
Thank you for using Western Union.We look forward to serving your online needs better.

------------------

Hmmm, serving them better than what? Shortly after that one, I get this email congratulating me on my approved money order. This is classic, check out the guys name, return email address, AND the footer that the email service puts at the bottom of the email supposedly from Western Union!!

------------------

From bidpay bidpay
Dear Timothy Allan,
Western Union Auction Payments hereby congratulate you and at the same time informing you once again that the Money Order sent to you from "Decent Sean"has been Approved.Money Order:$1.406.00
Please verify that the following address (as entered by the buyer) is correct again.
Name: Timothy Allan,

If there is a mistake in your address, please Contact the Buyer To correct the above error.
This order has been approved and will be send as a Money Order to your address in 5-7 days.YOU CAN NOW send the items to the buyer.While your Money order is on the way to you, Moreover the above Pin Number will be ask before delivering the Money Order, you will also identify your self By asking you the Auction item Number.
NOTE THAT THE MONEY ORDER WILL NOT GET TO YOUR RESIDENT UNTIL THE SHIPMENT TRACKING NUMBER IS SENT TO OUR CUSTOMER SERVICES FOR SHIPMENT VERIFICATION.PLEASE EMAIL THE SHIPPMENT TRACKING NUMBER TO OUR CUSTOMER SERVICE AT: (getpaidbybidpay@mail.vu)
Thank you for using Western Union Auction Payments. We look forward serving your online auction payment needs in the future.
Sincerely,
Western Union Auction Payments.
Get your free email address from http://mail.vu

--------------------------

After laughing my ass off at this latest email, I get a little creative. I took that address he gave me in the States and Google Earth’d it. I found two big landmarks near the address and I fired another email back to him:

--------------------------

Hey thats great, thanks I got the confirmation!!!

Thanks,
Tim

--------------------------

Whoops, he didn’t like that much. A couple hours later I got this response:

--------------------------

pls i need ur help on this, my fiance that i m buying this item for
just travel i did'nt tell him bcos i want to use it as a supriseing gift
to him so pls i dont know if u can ship it to him there pls try and
understand i beg u in the Name of God to help me do this pls i will
include the address on this mail if u want me to pay additional money i
will pls i m pleading that u should help me on this. i know u can do it
for me and God will bless u thanks

Name..............Benson Davidson
Address...........27,Olatunji street
city...................Ojota
state..................Lagos
zipcod.................23401
Country................Nigeria

pls get back to me ASAP thanks
Best Regards

--------------------------

Ohhh, you’re actually from Nigeria and you want to surprise your gay lover Randy Herron with a new laptop! It all makes sense now.

Sigh, every time I have used eBay, all the scammers have been from Nigeria. WHAT IS IT WITH YOU GUYS?! You’re ruining it for the Nigerians who are not thieves and cheats, and who are smart enough to make a living with a real job. So I now Google Earth his Nigerian address and find some locations nearby and respond. Since he is still all biblical I decide to throw in some Christian niceties as well:

--------------------------

Oh, i completely understand!

Cheers,
Tim

--------------------------

He responds:

--------------------------

Hello.
thanks for the mail i m very happy that u re showing concern about this i want to let u know that those place u mention i dont think if there is any place like that near him those place u mention is like a place in the state and i said he has travel to African in Nigeria that is the address pls if u can ship the item for me i will be greatful if the money is not enough for the shipping i can add more to it thanks i await ur fast responce to this mail

--------------------------

Right, so my cleverness is lost on him. I send him this one saying that I have shipped a plastic replica laptop just to see what he says:

--------------------------

Okay, you have won my compassion with your plea! I have shipped the
item, and the company has told me it will be there soon. I hope you enjoy
your new plastic replica laptop as much as I have enjoyed looking at it!

-Tim

--------------------------

Hello.

thanks for the mail i want to let u that i m greatful and God will
bless u for that i will also need the tracking number so that i can tell
him that the laptop is coming pls get back to me thanks

--------------------------

Oh? I thought it was a suprise for your gay lover Randy Herron? This is where I start getting a little more ridiculous with my excuses, and my incorrect usage of words:

--------------------------

Hi!
Oh no, horrors of horrors!! The electricity went out in my house when i was checking my confirmation email and I have lost it. They guaranteed me that it would be there on time or they would call me. I hope it is not too much of a convenience! Enjoy!
-Tim

--------------------------

Hello.
but i still need the tracking number or bidpay need the tracking number from u so pls i know that u re a very gentle person if the tracking number is not provided ur money will be delay pls get back to the costomer care so that they can send ur money immediately thanks

--------------------------

I respond, but made a fatal mistake of saying that they didn’t know about the payment:

--------------------------

Okay, I called Bid Pay on the phone and they seem to have no idea about my payment. I told them that they have to double check because you are a very trustworthy person and would not cheat people because those people would probably hunt you down and find you. They are checking into it and will get back to me so all will be well. Either way, I know you have paid and the package will get to you within a few days!
Thanks!

--------------------------

Cue the Wah Wahhh (sad trombone sound) because all my fun is over. He never responded to this one, and I never found out if Randy Herron his gay lover ever got a laptop. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as me (and the guys at work) had doing it to this would be thief!

Let this be a lesson to us all!

"Containing a wide selection of loops, single hits and multis, this one is designed for hard house producers. Each folder within the kits section is named according to the tempo of its loops, which range from 126bpm to 136bpm. These offer various combination of drum voicing: kick and hats; snare and hats; kick and snare.

You’ll also find melodic bass, synth and vocal loops, and the multisampled instruments include basses, electric pianos and a house organ. The content is very will produced and should provide plenty of ammunition for even the most prolific producer."

Rating 8/10

Yay!

Thanks guys!

Before pressing 'Custom' or 'Express' buttons paste this text to the address bar and press enter: javascript:void(window.g_sDisableWGACheck='all') It turns off the trigger for the key check. Thats it!

Another way to do it (which I haven't had to try yet...)

1. Go to either Windows Updates or Microsoft Updates.
2. Install KB892130 (Windows Genuine Advantage Validation Tool)
3. If the validation check doesn't pass, do the following.
4. In IE, Tools > Manage Add-ons...
5. Select Show: Add-ons that have been used by Internet Explorer
6. Select Name: Windows Genuine Advantage
7. Select Settings: Disable
8. Click OK.
9. Close IE.
10. Go back to Windows Update or Microsoft Update and it should work.

That Javascript trick is wild, kudos to the guy who came up with that. I've never though of executing jscript through an address bar like that and I work with the bloody language all the time!

Housematic is on sale!! I finally saw some stores that have it for grabs. The biggest distributor to pick it up so far seems to be TimeSpace, which is great!! Also I saw it over at Dolphin Music.

This is the blurb for the Sample CD: “Housematic is a fresh and exciting collection of hard/tech house loops and samples from Tekniks. Whether you suffer from saggy bass, flat kicks or limp synths, Tekniks are confident you’ll find the remedy you’re looking for right here! Housematic is loaded with tons of club-banging construction kits ranging from 126-136BPM, plus extra loops, hits and multi-samples to guarantee your next dancefloor hit!”

So there. If you like producing House, whether it’s hard, soft, fluffy or solid… check it out. If you want any more mp3 samples send me an email.

-------

The Podcast with Jeremiah Jacobs was a great experience too. We talk about producing, hardware, my live shows, and get to listen to some tracks. You can download the 25 minute interview Jeremiah Jacobs -Podcasts -Timothy Allan.mp3. It is also mirrored at creativearmada and it streams through flash which is kinda sneaky.

-------------

I'm buggering off to Canada for 3 weeks so I can go see the folks, inlaws and the old chums back home. I'll just have the laptop with me so I'm not sure how productive I'll be with putting out tracks while I'm over there. I do have a couple that are alllllmost done, but need a proper mixdown. Without decent monitors over there I won't be able to do it, and rule number 1 of mixing in headphones is "Don't mix with headphones".

Okay, back to action now, I've got a boat load of stuff to do before I take off in the big bird to Canada. If you are in the Calgary or Kelowna area, fire me an email and we'll go get a beer :)